Dienstag, April 17, 2007

Fundstück



“Written in beginning of week off Berlin, in fact, one week and a have ago....

Hello Mudda, Hellao Fadda,

Greetings from Germanada.

I am in Berlin still, but in a different room. Although, my tow rooms with balcony are quite nice, I have no telephone – nor do I understand this language fully- nor do I ever (I repeat) ever want to wake up at 10 pm, but I will tomorrow because I am…
1) making them hire a fix-it guy for telephone
2) going to the gym
3) going shopping for some new clothes
4) going tanning for the second time
5) buying a sell phone for Europe
6) Exploring Berlin
7) Doing a show auf deutsch
8) Going to the Kit Kat Club

Apparently the producer (Wolfgang) LOVES my Rizzo now & wont stop talking about it. Which leads me to the next week. As you know, I have opted not to buy my own ticket to go back to NY for a week. Well, I guess the company got wind of this an I am now to do “das musical” press events all over Germany with Dario – the guy who plays Kenickie.
We will sometimes appear as Rizzo & Kenickie, and sometimes appear as Danny & Sandy and I would use my own hair.
Which is okay, because then the company will provide with a haircut (which I desperately need).
We both agreed that we would do it for full salary. So bay Friday will knew for sure. ( So we capitalize days of the week in America?) I’m turning German.
I’ve actually found some lovely summer homes in various parts of Germany so (…), but it might just be because everything is new & different al of the time.
Oh yeah. If I really do these press events, there is a two-night stay in Kiel an the we should take the next day off in Copenhagen (Denmark)!
How exciting! And then a few more days after that, an I’m in AUSTRIA!!!
That is something that I have been looking forward to for such a long time.
By the way, isn’t this fancy stationary that they provide us? I nearly went WILD when I saw it. I mean – what are the odds?
It’s strange because now I look at street signs, billboards etc an I don’t automatically wonder what it means….I kind of know.

Now for your reading enjoyment.
Bad translations in our script.
Original English:
Jan: those guys are a bunch of creeps!
Rizzo: Yeah, an Danny Zuko’s the biggest creep of them all!
German translation:
Jan: Ja die sind doch nur Ochsen.
Rizzo: Ja.. und Dany Zuko ist der Horn(y) Ochse.
Meaning they’re a bunch of oxes. Yeah & Danny Zuko is the horny ox. However in Germany, the dumbest ox in the field is called the HORN Ochse. But Martin the translator) though it be funny to americanize it and say “horny”. So now it makes no sense at all.
I used to say “That chick’s getting to be a real pain in the ass.”
Now I say: 2 Sandy ist schlimmer als ‘ne Hämmorhoide. (She’s worse than a hemmorhoide.)
There are Plenty more, but the ultimate worst is:
Instead of
“Hey Rizzo, I hear you’re knocked up.”
We deal with:
“Hey Rizzo, höre, dass da was anklopft?”
Which means:
Hey, Rizzo, I heard there was something knocking at your womb?
How dumb can he be?
He should’ve said a German slang for pregnant ore even just schwanger itself.
What an idioten.

All I can say is – I guess the Company got what they paid for. Well, I hope you guys and Ryan can come after Christmas.
Mom needs to get warm boots and should probably being that wool coat and plenty of head protection.
Yes Mom, you’ll have to wear a hat an you’ll just have to accept it.

I recommend buying comfortable shoes while you’re here- and- don’t switch two much of your currency to Euros until you get here because right now the Euro is worth a bit more than the american dollar. Hopefully it won’t stay that way, but for now it benefits me-but not America.
Stupid George W. Can we please get him out of office?
By the way., did you vote midterm election this year?
That’s the only way to get some new an empiored people into an senate.

Well, I’m getting writers cramp in my hand. So I guess I’ll say

Tschüssi!
Und gute nacht.
Adios!
See ya later alligator!
After while, crocodile!
D.”

Sonntag, April 15, 2007

Küstenmensch im Ausland

In der S-Bahn zwischen Airport München und München Ost. Mann telefoniert: "Ich bin in München. Das ist hier bei Bayern."

Abenteuer entsteht, wenn die Planung versagt...

04:39 U-Bahnhof Vinetastraße
06:55 ab Flughafen Schönefeld
08:22 ab Airport München mit der S 8
09:00 Frühstück auf dem Orleansplatz
09:50 weiter Richtung Salzburg
11:36 Freilassing (die Bahnhofstoiletten erinnern an "Trainspotting")
12:15 Bad Reichenhall
12:30 Unbeschreibliche Ereignisse verändern den geplanten Ablauf der Mission
13:36 Rückzug
14:10 wir stehen wieder im Nichts (also in Freilassing)
15:00 am Chiemsee vorbei; der Rückweg ist gesichert (THX big brother)
16:20 Mittag und Abendbrot beim "King" (wieder München Ost)
17:00 Siesta Airport München Terminal 2
20:00 alle Shops am Airport begutachtet, aber keine Waren käuflich erworben >>> Geld gespart ; )
20:25 München bei Fast-Nacht aus 8.000 Metern Entfernung
22:30 Back Home

Donnerstag, April 12, 2007

Berlin-Touristen (2)

Zwei auswärtige Menschen sehen auf die Kaiser-Friedrich-Gedächtniskirche. "Ich finde das ja unmöglich, wie dieses Gebäude aussieht. So arm ist die Kirche doch wieder auch nicht. Die könnten da schon mal was dran machen."(man stelle sich hierzu noch einen sächsischen Dialekt vor)